Well, maybe it is about time to inform you that yes I do have a boyfriend. No, he is not an internet boyfriend.. he is real and ya. I end that sentence with a ya because S hit the fan.. a disagreement on something that turned into a fight.
Sadly, I have not been sleeping too well lately and the fight happened much later than it should have.. so that is mostly how it escalated.
Well anyways, my boyfriend has this philosophy about doing everything for himself.. and somehow I have yet put into his brain how utterly selfish that sounds. I mean, just looking at the words in print: I do everything for myself.. makes me cringe. (Maybe I should show him how it looks on a piece of paper and he will maybe get it) And when those words come to my mind I think about my parents and I do not know the whole story between them, but I ultimately see them doing things for themselves and after a long list of things, I see a marriage that has grown apart. When there are two people involved in something that is so important, I believe in the thought that I want to do what makes that other person happy. My philosophy: Doing things for others before myself.
After two years and hardly any fights that have amounted to this big of a deal. Meaning that we are over it and can hug and kiss and not be upset anymore after it has happened. It gets oneself thinking about a lot of things.. for example, how completely different we feel about a lot of things.
On a side note: Gosh, no wonder there are so many dang books about relationships.. anything and everything can happen in a relationship. But one thing that I truly believe in is that two people need to do whatever is best for the other before themselves. That is honestly the only thing that makes sense in my mind after this argument. Maybe I am wrong and my boyfriends opinion is also not correct, but whatever it is... I doubt even the books know the answer haha.
What is completely weird and a semi-new feeling is that I still could not stop talking to him before he went to bed without saying I love you.. After this fight and other fights that do not even matter anymore, we could always say I love you to each other. I may not necessarily want to jump the gun and text him the second I wake up tomorrow, but I can still honestly say that I love him. And I find it incredible.. because there is no way that I am over the fight, but I know deep down that ultimately this was not worth it and we will move on. But the realization of it all is just mind blowing and I am really hungry now. However, I have brushed my teeth and have to wake up kind of early tomorrow. I have vented, stated how I feel in a roundabout way, and feel much better.. so with that, I say goodnight world!
Yours always, .....
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